To Mr. Wood,
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about these past 14 years—the ups, the downs, and everything in between. It’s funny how we can change on the surface, but deep down, it’s like we’re stuck in the same rut. You’d think after all this time, I would feel more secure, more confident. But honestly? I don’t.
Let’s talk about the elephant in the room: sex, or should I say the glaring absence of it. It’s embarrassing to admit, but I feel ugly, unwanted, and frankly, it’s crushing to watch you gaze at those stunning women online. It’s like I’m invisible, and I can’t shake that feeling. You might not realise the impact it has on me, but it does.
Every time I think we’re making progress, every time I lay my heart on the line, it feels like you just throw a quick fix my way. Band-aids on bullet wounds, right? We fall back into the same patterns, and I’m left feeling frustrated and unheard. I wanted more than this—more than a half-hearted attempt at fixing our issues. A month or so of feeling wanting and we're heading in the right direction, then you go right back to your old ways. My therapist says if you don't stick to something for 60 days, you won't change. We've been doing this dance off and on for 14 years, and yet, we can't ever seem to get it fixed. I wanted a real connection, one where I could share anything without worrying that your mind was drifting elsewhere.
So here we are again, and I can’t help but feel bitter. It’s exhausting to keep trying when it seems like you’re not committed to changing for good.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Beaver
Comments
Post a Comment